Dr. José Valentino Ruiz & Andrew Wang

Abstract

This article explores the ethical, spiritual, and pedagogical dimensions of mentorship, arguing that true mentorship requires ego-free investment in others’ growth, humility in leadership, and a global perspective that honors mutual learning and cultural wisdom.

Keywords: Mentorship, Music Education, Leadership, Ego, Reverse Mentoring, Ethics, Servant Leadership, Pedagogy, Cultural Values, Mutuality, Creative Arts, Global Education, Spiritual Formation, Character Development

Introduction

The term mentor is often used freely in educational and professional settings, but it warrants more careful consideration than it typically receives. In a cultural landscape where titles and roles are frequently pursued for visibility, power, or legacy-building, the heart of mentorship can easily be lost. As someone who has experienced both sides of the mentoring dynamic—as a mentee and as a mentor—I’ve come to understand that true mentorship is not defined by position or knowledge, but by posture and character.

This article is a reflection on the sacred responsibility of mentorship, and how our willingness—or unwillingness—to empower others beyond ourselves reveals much about our values, identity, and capacity for growth. Drawing from philosophical insights, scriptural principles, and pedagogical research, this piece explores what it means to mentor without ego in a world that often equates leadership with control.

The Allure of Influence and the Test of Integrity

Many people enjoy the role of advisor or mentor when the power dynamic is clearly in their favor. It can feel affirming to be the “one who knows,” guiding others from a place of experience. But the real test of mentorship comes when a mentee grows to become an equal—or surpasses the mentor altogether. This moment becomes a mirror. How the mentor responds reveals whether the relationship was built on selfless investment or ego-driven performance.

Nietzsche (1886/2006) once wrote, “The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.” In mentorship, this insight is profoundly relevant. If we only mentor others to recreate a version of ourselves, we are not empowering growth—we are replicating familiarity. True mentorship requires letting go of the need to control outcomes and instead fostering the conditions for independent excellence, even when it challenges our own status.

Mentorship and the Human Spirit

The desire to mentor may originate from noble intentions, but the human spirit is complex. It is possible to be helpful while subconsciously seeking admiration, or to offer guidance while subtly reinforcing one’s superiority. These distortions don’t always stem from malice; often, they are rooted in unhealed insecurities or unchecked pride. As Kierkegaard (1849/1985) suggested, “The most common form of despair is not being who you are.” A mentor who finds their identity solely in being needed will struggle when their protégé no longer requires their help.

Effective mentorship requires interior maturity. As Parker Palmer (1997) observed, “We teach who we are.” Mentorship, then, is not merely a transfer of knowledge—it is the transfer of being. If the mentor is rooted in generosity, integrity, and joy, these values will shape the mentoring process. If the mentor is driven by scarcity, insecurity, or the need for control, those traits too will be passed along, often unconsciously.

Mentorship and Educational Ethics

From a pedagogical perspective, mentorship is a vital dimension of holistic education. Vygotsky’s (1978) theory of the Zone of Proximal Development emphasizes the importance of more knowledgeable others who scaffold a learner’s development. However, once a learner internalizes the skill or knowledge, the scaffolding must be removed. This is where many mentors struggle—not with teaching, but with stepping back.

In higher education and professional training, the transition from mentor to colleague should be celebrated, yet it is often accompanied by subtle tension. As Lord and Hall (2005) noted in their study on leadership development, true leadership is not about individual ascendancy but about enabling others to lead. A mentor’s success is not measured by how many remain beneath them, but by how many they have empowered to flourish without them.

Moreover, ethical mentorship involves accountability. The National Association for Music Education (NAfME, 2020) outlines professional ethical responsibilities, including respect for student autonomy and the avoidance of exploitative dynamics. When mentorship becomes a mechanism for self-promotion, manipulation, or personal validation, it undermines the dignity of both parties involved.

The Scriptural View: Humility in Leadership

The biblical model of mentorship places humility at its center. Consider John 3:30 (ESV): “He must increase, but I must decrease.” This verse, spoken by John the Baptist in reference to Jesus, models the mentor’s ideal disposition—one that rejoices when the mentee rises. Rather than clinging to influence, the godly mentor willingly steps aside, recognizing that their role was never to be the center, but the catalyst.

Jesus Himself modeled mentorship that empowered others to carry forth greater works: “Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these…” (John 14:12, NIV). This is not a threat to the mentor’s legacy—it is the fulfillment of it.

When faith is integrated into mentorship, it reinforces the truth that we are stewards, not owners, of influence. Our call is to invest in others without clinging to the outcomes for personal glory.

When Mentorship Is Threatened by Growth

In my own journey, I’ve seen this truth play out with painful clarity. There have been moments when individuals I respected suddenly distanced themselves as I progressed in my career. What began as encouragement turned into suspicion. The subtext was clear: my success disrupted their narrative of being “above” me.

Conversely, I’ve had the privilege of mentoring students who have gone on to win national awards, lead international projects, or build successful businesses. Each time they exceed a milestone I once celebrated for myself, I feel a deep joy—not a threat. Why? Because their flourishing is a continuation of the vision, not a competition.

The difference lies in understanding mentorship as mission, not maintenance. When the mentor’s goal is to protect their own image, they will inevitably resist the growth of others. But when the mentor views their role as a servant-leader, they will actively delight in another’s elevation—even when it eclipses their own achievements.

The Shadow Side of Mentorship: Narcissism in Education

While mentorship is often lauded as noble, there is a shadow form that masquerades as service: narcissistic mentorship. This occurs when a mentor uses their position not to empower, but to extract. As Goleman (2006) noted in his research on emotional intelligence and leadership, leaders who lack self-awareness often manipulate relationships to serve their self-image.

In music education and other performance-driven fields, narcissistic mentors may:

  • Attach their name to every student accomplishment.

  • Discourage independent projects that don’t align with their vision.

  • Use praise as currency for loyalty, rather than affirmation.

  • Undermine former mentees once they become successful.

This dynamic is especially dangerous because it cloaks itself in language of care, while fostering dependence. As educators, we must regularly examine our motivations. Are we mentoring because we are called to steward talent—or are we clinging to our identity through the control of another’s trajectory?

Self-examination, accountability, and even spiritual practices such as confession and prayer are critical in keeping our motives pure. As Proverbs 27:17 (ESV) reminds us, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Mentorship must be mutual in its refinement—not one-sided in its validation.

Mutuality and Reverse Mentorship

One of the most powerful revelations I’ve had as a mentor is that I often learn just as much—if not more—from my mentees. This is the principle of reverse mentorship, where insight, creativity, and growth flow both directions.

Andrew Wang, co-author of this article and one of my mentees, has regularly challenged me with his perspectives on disability justice, media ethics, and neurodivergent creativity. Our dialogue has sharpened my understanding of inclusive pedagogy and broadened my own sense of purpose as an educator. In truth, many of my mentees have introduced me to ideas, technologies, and frameworks I would not have discovered on my own.

This mutuality is not a dilution of mentorship—it’s its maturity. As Boud et al. (1985) argue in their work on experiential learning, learning is most effective when reflection is shared and collaborative. In this light, the mentor is not a gatekeeper of knowledge, but a participant in a shared intellectual and spiritual journey.

To embrace this kind of dynamic requires humility, but it also leads to extraordinary innovation. In music and the arts especially, where change is constant, we cannot afford hierarchical stagnation. Our students are not only the future—they are also the present.

Letting Go for the Sake of Legacy

Lao Tzu offers timeless wisdom: “A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.” This speaks to a mentorship model that centers the mentee’s autonomy and authorship.

Similarly, Simone Weil, the French philosopher and mystic, wrote: “The real sin of power is to keep others dependent.” To release the reins is an act of trust, an affirmation that the person we have mentored is now capable of steering their own course. It’s not abandonment; it’s honor.

Cultural and Global Dimensions of Mentorship

Mentorship is also shaped by culture. In some global traditions—particularly in collectivist societies such as those in East Asia, Latin America, and parts of Africa—mentorship is not just professional, but familial and spiritual. The mentor takes on a role similar to a spiritual elder or cultural steward, with responsibilities that extend beyond instruction into care for the whole person.

For example, the Japanese concept of senpai–kohai reflects a relationship where the mentor (senpai) assumes a lifelong responsibility for their mentee (kohai), not only during formal education but through career and personal milestones. In West African griot traditions, mentorship occurs through oral transmission, storytelling, and performance—not lectures. These traditions remind us that mentorship is not merely transactional or instructional—it is communal, generational, and sacred.

As the arts become increasingly globalized and cross-cultural, we must consider how our mentorship practices honor or disrupt these legacies. Are we listening? Are we learning from the ancestral forms of mentorship that have shaped entire civilizations? Or are we imposing Western academic models that fragment growth from identity?

When we consider mentorship as a global inheritance, it becomes clear: our task is not just to develop professionals, but to form humans who carry wisdom, tradition, and creativity into the future.

Practical Markers of Ego-Free Mentorship

How do we know if we are mentoring with integrity? Below are several markers of ego-free mentorship:

  1. You celebrate your mentee’s success publicly, even when you’re not credited.

  2. You share wisdom without expecting loyalty or obedience in return.

  3. You prepare them to replace you—or even surpass you.

  4. You continue to support them even when they no longer need your input.

  5. You create opportunities for their growth, not your platform.

When these actions are lived consistently, mentorship becomes an act of service, not status—a reflection of character, not charisma.

Implications for Music Education and Creative Leadership

In music education, the mentor-mentee relationship is deeply personal. We don’t just share facts—we share artistic identity, vulnerability, and often spiritual resonance. This proximity creates a powerful space for formation, but also for the misuse of influence.

Music educators must consistently reflect on whether they are mentoring students toward freedom or dependency. Are we equipping them to become independent thinkers, risk-takers, and cultural contributors? Or are we subtly shaping them to echo our opinions and styles, thereby preserving our legacy at the cost of their originality?

According to Bloom et al. (1998), effective mentorship in performance-based fields involves “role modeling, encouragement, trust-building, and the gradual release of responsibility.” When this progression is honored, students emerge as innovators—not just imitators.

Choose the Better Way

To mentor with integrity is to release the need to be at the center of another person’s journey. It is to pour into others without agenda, to delight in their advancement, and to believe that their rise does not diminish your worth—it fulfills your purpose. As mentors, our calling is not to protect our position but to empower the next generation of leaders. In a world obsessed with influence, the most radical act may be to cultivate it in others without needing to own it. In the words of Seneca: “What you give to another you give to yourself.” May we, then, give generously, without fear of being forgotten. For in raising others, we transcend ourselves.

References

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Boud, D., Keogh, R., & Walker, D. (1985). Reflection: Turning experience into learning. Kogan Page.

Goleman, D. (2006). Social intelligence: The new science of human relationships. Bantam Books.

Gyekye, K. (1996). African cultural values: An introduction. Sankofa Publishing Company.

Hofstede, G. (2001). Culture’s consequences: Comparing values, behaviors, institutions, and organizations across nations. Sage Publications.

Kierkegaard, S. (1985). The sickness unto death: A Christian psychological exposition for upbuilding and awakening (H. V. Hong & E. H. Hong, Trans.). Princeton University Press. (Original work published 1849)

Lord, R. G., & Hall, R. J. (2005). Identity, deep structure and the development of leadership skill. The Leadership Quarterly, 16(4), 591–615.

Nietzsche, F. (2006). Beyond good and evil (W. Kaufmann, Trans.). Vintage Books. (Original work published 1886)

Palmer, P. J. (1997). The courage to teach: Exploring the inner landscape of a teacher’s life. Jossey-Bass.

Vygotsky, L. S. (1978). Mind in society: The development of higher psychological processes. Harvard University Press.

Weil, S. (1977). Gravity and grace (E. Crawford & M. von der Ruhr, Trans.). Routledge.