Have you ever had a year like this year?

I would say that not EVERYTHING of this year has gone wrong, but many, many things have not gone according to plan in my life. I am sure you all relate. Was there a graduation, wedding, or baby shower you couldn’t attend? Was school up in the air for many months as the thought of starting virtually OR in person caused you worry and anxiety? Same. Here.

It was August when I first heard we were going back to teach in person. Truthfully, I was shocked. I knew this was always the plan for my school, as I am employed as a music teacher working with students who have intensive behavioral and emotional needs. I knew it was in our students’ best interest to return, and yet, I still was in shock. At the time when I found out we were returning to work, I:

  • Had to find new childcare for my not-yet 3-month-old son.
  • Was grappling with mom guilt about returning to work.
  • Was still working through PTSD from a car accident a few months prior, and post-partum anxiety.

As I sat there and read my email, I began to comprehend that I had to go back to a job where, no matter what, social distancing would be near to impossible.

We were one of the only schools in the county returning to in-person learning at the beginning of the school year. While we took all the necessary precautions to open, I still (of course) did not feel 100% safe.

One of the reasons I did not feel 100% safe is that, despite being young and relatively healthy, I have severe asthma. My son is also very young (not yet four months). I know that the regular flu can make infants very sick, so what could COVID do? My parents also live with my grandparents. What if I were to get them accidentally ill?

I share these worries because I know you must share some, if not all, of these worries. And yet, despite these worries, I knew that I had to go back to work. I am leaving my current position this November for a new position. I wanted to see students I had not seen since March one last time. I think this is the biggest blessing and curse for us teachers—we love our students so much that many of us WILL risk our lives and health to see and help our students again. 

I had to take a COVID test in the first week of school.

Despite my hesitations, the first week of school went off without a hitch. Students (for the most part) complied with all the mask rules. They were just as excited to be back in the classroom as teachers were. I realized I had missed teaching in-person more than I knew. It felt good to be in the classroom again. Different, but good.

Then, I had the worst asthma attack of my life.

My symptoms all came on so suddenly. I called my doctor to inform them of the attack because it was so bizarre since I also had a runny nose and sore throat. Then, I heard the dreaded words I was worried my doctor would say:

“Maybe you should take a COVID test, just to rule it out.”

Now, keep in mind, I had a COVID test before I was induced with my son this past May. I am not exaggerating when I say it was one of the more uncomfortable experiences I’ve had (and I gave birth literally 24 hours later). So when I heard this from my doctor, I was less than thrilled. However, I knew she was right. I had too many symptoms overlapping with COVID. So, I drove to a testing center and took another COVID test. Then, I waited.

And I waited.

And I waited.

I know that many kids are being filmed crying at home over online learning. I genuinely feel for these students. But I also feel for the teachers and staff members breaking down when taking a COVID test. What about the fear of their family’s health and safety? I am not saying one is worse than the other, but times are HARD right now. Grace should be extended to all those in education, regardless of their teaching/learning circumstances.

I heard back Wednesday evening of the following week that my test was negative. Having to isolate for six days and not knowing if I was sick with COVID was emotionally and physically exhausting.

As annoying and as uncomfortable as it was to get another COVID test, I am grateful I could. It is our responsibility to make sure we are not carrying and spreading this virus any more than it is already being spread, so I am glad I could take the precautions.

Being “Active Musicians” in COVID

I was excited to return to the classroom. In a typical year, I service over 15 different locations in my county during a typical year. However, because of COVID-19, I am now seeing only four facilities in person, the entire year (the rest are virtual). I teach at one facility in-person per marking period, the same classes each day.

At first, this setup worried me. Would the students grow bored of my lessons? Would they retain what they were learning? I began to feel stressed.

I am a new mother.

I am sleep deprived.

I am breastfeeding.

I am trying to get ready to return to school in a pandemic.

Right then and there, I decided I could not add any more stress to my life.

I decided that all my students needed this year was to be active musicians. That’s it.

My only criteria were that they needed to be involved in the process of making, responding to, and creating music. Here are a few tips/activities I have been doing with my students in this socially distanced learning environment:

  1. Try to use easy to clean instruments (when you can).
  2. Plan time to clean before and after class. Other teachers and admin need to be understanding of this.
  3. If students have specific behaviors (ripping their masks off), notify the staff immediately. Keep yourself and other students safe.
  4. Try to create live music every day, and don’t be afraid to do lots of games right now (we all need a break!)

My first few lessons utilized rhythm sticks. You can do a lot more with sticks than you think! You can compose, follow the leader, play poison rhythm, to name a few things! Since all my students wear masks, I had them use hand sanitizer before and after using rhythm sticks. After our activities, I wipe down the instruments with sanitization wipes. I know what you are thinking, “Wouldn’t that damage the sticks?” The answer is, yeah. Probably. But in the age of COVID, you must weigh the pros and cons. And in my mind, music-making is still very important, and so is killing this virus. Plus, what is cheaper to replace, a buffalo drum or rhythm sticks?

When it comes to behaviors, I immediately notify staff members when students are not being safe so that we can address it. We try to isolate the unsafe student the best we can. It is difficult and different in this world, and hopefully, you will not need to do this. However, backup is very helpful in these instances.

Admin must be understanding of your time. You cannot teach a 45-minute lesson and also disinfect the instruments. Make sure other teachers and admin are understanding of this. And don’t waiver on this. Advocate for yourself here.

I know this goes without saying, but kids LOVE making live music, and they love games. Please don’t feel like a “bad teacher” for playing games. Just this past week, my 3rd graders played Apple Tree for 30 MINUTES one day. They were their best behaved and most active in music-making that day. Later that week, they had a better understanding of high and low pitches because of this game. Games and music-making are okay now (and always!)

I genuinely hope all of you reading this have a great start to your school year, no matter what it looks like. I will leave you with these parting words: you are a good teacher. You are precisely the teacher your students need. Please don’t forget that. Remember why you got into this field. Don’t forget to laugh with your students, connect with your students, and lean on them as they lean on you. We all need more human connections today. May health and happiness be with you this year!

With love,

Lauren Marcinkowski