What do you do during the first month of school to build connection with your music students? I remember starting as a teacher and feeling like rules were first, and relationship was second.
I was so wrong about that.
Not only did I struggle with classroom expectations, I struggled to build authentic relationships with students that garnered mutual respect. But now, 17 years in, I’ve learned a few lessons about connecting with students that have served to build positive relationships for the entire year.
In this blog post, I’ll share three ways to build connection with students and some F0flat resources that can help you during the first month of school. flat
Build connection through authenticity.
Yesterday, my son came home from school beaming. He was so excited to tell me about his new teacher and something fun that happened in class. For some kids, this might be a regular occurrence. But, for my kid, this was new. After a genuinely rough 3rd grade experience, he was dreading this school year. Dreading it!! Every day leading up to school starting, he told me how much he hated school and didn’t want to go back. As a lifelong educator, this broke my heart.
So, what made my son so excited? He loves his teacher. Why does he love his teacher? Because his teacher started the first two days of school by sharing about himself in a way that was entirely relatable for fourth graders. He told them he never liked homework as a kid and wanted to make it meaningful and fun. He told them he struggles with his handwriting and that they can all work together to improve. He even played a game where the students told each other one “boring” fact about themselves, which ended up being hilarious and not boring at all.
He made himself human and relatable to his students. I could give him a hug for how that simple gesture changed my son’s entire outlook on school!
Do your students see you as a human? Do they know why you got into teaching and what you do for fun? Do they know your favorite color? Music? Candy bar? Do they know about your family life?
You don’t need to share everything about yourself to be relatable, but students should be able to see you as human. They should be able to connect with the fact that you have goals, desires, and struggles, just like them! How you share those details will be unique to you and your population.
I love Franklin Willis’ book, More than a Music Teacher because it does just that. It shares the stories of four teachers who all come to music education for various reasons and have unique dreams and struggles. This would be a great book to share with kids in the first month of school, and use it as a jumping-off point to share your story and allow the kids to do the same!
Build connection through knowledge.
How do you get to know your students? Through observation? Student questionnaires? Stories from other teachers?
One of the classes I taught for 16 years was a general arts course for high schoolers. We would have three sections of 45-50 students that we would see every day for a semester. When I started teaching the course, I felt it was impossible to learn every name and get to know each student for the three months we were together.
Now? I know that learning about students is more than a questionnaire or observational data. It’s a conscious effort to have conversations, build one-on-one interactions with each student, and create connections over shared experiences. Our general arts curricula changed so that we could center connection on day one.
On the first day of that class, we would have students move through four different interactive stations in small groups. While they completed a creative task, my co-teacher and I would chat with individuals, try to memorize names, and learn more about the students.
Lauren DeLago and Marie Del Valle recently released A Guide For Getting to Know Your Music Students with a TON of ideas for learning more about students in the early weeks of school. Whether you teach elementary or secondary kiddos, there is something here for you! I personally love all of the playlist prompts because my high schoolers love sharing their musical interests with the class.
Build connection through play.
When was the last time that you played? I think a lot about play now that I have three elementary-aged kids. This summer, I went cartwheeling through fields, rode roller coasters, dove off diving boards, and a host of other activities centered on play. At age 38, I still enjoy being a big kid and “playing.”
The Oxford Dictionary defines play as ” engaging in activity for enjoyment and recreation…”. I didn’t jump off a diving board this summer because it was productive; I did it because my kids asked me to, and I wanted to play with them. And, in doing so, we became more connected.
We can do so many playful activities in the music room. We can also find moments of playful musicking all around the school and even on the playground! Playing with students and not just creating playful experiences for students can be a game changer in developing trust, camaraderie, and mutual respect.
Here are some of our favorite play-based songs and activities:
What about you? What have you learned about building connections with students in those early weeks? Share in the comments below!
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